This is my theme for last year. I know that I have been horrible at updating my blog. With the birth of a new baby, I figured it was time to write again.
This past Christmas I got a charm bracelet from my dad's amazing wife, Kim. This is what the charm means:
Right before Christmas of last year, I lost a very close and dear aunt to childbirth. It was completely unexpected and still doesn't feel real. My Aunt Jan was more like an older sister to me. We are only 9 years apart and she was the closest link I had to my mom's family. We would talk often and I would constantly go to her for advice, especially when I was pregnant with Ella. We had babies just a few months apart. I had called her on her birthday this last year and she didn't answer. She promptly texted me back to let me know that she was in labor and would call me when things settled down. I was calling to let her know that I was pregnant. I never got to have that conversation with her.
I had a rough start to this pregnancy. Emotions were high with the loss of Jan and I was so miserably sick. At this point, the small blessings began to come . I remember lying in bed one day, just in tears, because it was another day that Ty and Wyatt would spend watching TV. I just couldn't get out of bed or entertain them. As I was feeling sorry for this sweet Ty boy and how lame his day was going to be, I got a text from a friend inviting him over to play. She knew I was pregnant and wasn't feeling well. That small gesture was a huge answer to my prayers--that my sickness would not hinder my children. This happened a lot through out my pregnancy, where people would step in to take my kids, or drop off random dinners. The kindness and thoughtfulness of others astounds me.
And then Aaron started going through some personal and work trials. We were doing okay, but Aaron's goals and his work were not lining up. He was getting frustrated with how things were playing out and it really humbled him and brought him to his knees. A lot of soul searching took place. But I never questioned what our future would hold. I knew that we were bringing this amazing, joyful spirit into our home and that everything would be okay once that baby got here. It always seems to work out that way for us. And through out the whole experience, blessings poured down on us. It took awhile for things to turn around at work, but they did. Our relationship was strengthened leaps and bounds.
As my pregnancy progressed, I started to feel a little better. It ended up being my best pregnancy (one where I wasn't nauseous every minute of the day, only half). And I know that I had some heavenly angels on the other side, pleading with our Heavenly Father to cut me some slack this time around. And He did. Those two women whom I call mom and sister/aunt were with me the entire time.
Then the baby came. What a blessing Asher has been to our family. I will write more about his birth story in another post. But blessings abound in that story too. Every day I see a prayer answered and feel the spirit testify to me that I am loved. That my family is loved. That there is so much more than just life on earth. I wish those on the other side were here with me on earth, but I know that they are still there. They watch over us and protect us. Heavenly Father allows hard things happen in our lives. But not once have I ever felt that He stopped loving me. So for those of you out there who need to hear it, know that you are loved. Unexpected miracles happen all the time!